Friday, May 04, 2012
Reflections on National Star Wars Day 2012: May the 4th Be With You!
Now I know what you are thinking. We just celebrated Earth Day on April 22nd, now Star Wars Day on May 4th, and then we also have Cinco De Mayo on May 5th, along with Mother's Day on May 13th and Memorial Day on May 28! With all of these special days concentrated so close together on the calendar would it not just be easier to wish everyone a "Happy Holidays"? Listen here heretic! You will not soil the sacredness of my Star Wars Day by generalizing it with other special days! Let's just say, if I go to the stores today and you greet me with a "Happy Holidays" I will NOT spend my good, hard earned money at your store! I may even include giving you a Vader choke hold! I want to be greeted with a "May the 4th Be With You!" Only then will I feel blessed that you have given this special day its due honor and I will gladly support your business! (As a side note I especially dare you to use the "Happy Holidays" greeting on Mother's Day and see what happens!)
In fact, I will go so far to say that if I am bombarded with "Happy Holidays" I will find it within myself to proclaim a War on Star Wars Day! Another slap in the face to Generation X! My generation was born into the depth of imagination that created and catapulted to fame such classics as Star Wars, Star Trek, Terminator, E.T., Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind, etc., etc., etc. And if we declare a war on Star Wars Day then you better be careful. You never know what you might be dealing with - either a jedi-like person who has control of their emotions and uses reason and logic to correct the problem first, or you may be dealing with people who have given themselves over to the dark side of the force, who you may find out may or may not actually be your father!
So be loud and proud people! Shout everywhere you go - to the bank-teller, the grocery store bagger, the gas station attendant, the waiter, the teacher, to everyone - MAY THE 4TH BE WITH YOU! After all, why are these people working?!?! What kind of forceless country is this that they would make their employees work on such a grand holiday?!?! And for all the times on Sundays that I get angry that Chick-Fil-A is closed they better be honoring today as a national holiday!
Oh, and don't worry about my mom. I set her straight on her Spring holiday schedule. After all, she is married to a guy who reminds her of Chewbacca every day. So it is hard for her to distinguish one Star Wars day from another. MAY THE 4th BE WITH YOU! And have a very merry Star Wars Day!