Pinewood Derby 2010!

Seriously. Check out the pinewood derby car that my son Benjamin and I put together for our annual Pinewood Derby race with his Cub Scout troop.  Is this not the coolest car ever?!?!  I had very high hopes that even if we did not win for speed, we would at least get the most creative award!  

Well, the day of the race came.  I actually had a lot going on this particular Sunday.  My basketball team had a game and my Senior High youth group were going skiing all day.  But I was not going to allow any other event stop me from the Pinewood Death Race 2010. We would be triumphant one way or another. 

As Ben's troop gathered for the 22 heats that would determine the victor you could sense the tension and excitement in the air.  The first two times that Ben's car went down the tracks SpongeBob SquareCar got first place!  I began to get excited.  Is it possible that this could be my, I mean, Ben's year???  But then in his other matches he came in 3rd and 4th place several other times.  All in all, when the totals were added up, Ben landed in 5th place.  The same boy who wins EVERY year won AGAIN!  Stinkin' engineer for a dad.  Go figure.  

So that didn't matter much because I was like Ralphie in "A Christmas Story" waiting excitedly for the teacher to announce his essay as the best she has ever read, rapturously writing "A++++++++++++" on the chalk board.  I knew that the Cub Master would look with awe at the amazing creativity and shear artistry of SpongeBob SquareCar.  But no.  SBSC was looked over.  Some other car got the cool award.  I was shocked.  I was humiliated.  I felt like John Rambo being disrespected by Sheriff Teasel so he decided to take out his wrath on the whole town of Hope, Washington.  I sensed a conspiracy so deep that even Glenn Beck would somehow find a way to blame Obama for this.  And then of course Obama would blame Bush.  But alas, I had to run off to ski with my youth group and I did not get the chance to administer justice.  Cub leaders beware! I demand a recount! And at least a basic knowledge of who judges and what the criteria for judging was because quite frankly, my car . . . I mean, Ben's car was the coolest.  But since you must be looking for something else, here are my ideas for next year to make sure we catch your attention!


1.  The "Left Behind" Car.  If you notice that I'm not here and you still are, well it sucks for you because I just won BIG!


2.  The Zombieland Car: Blood and entrails always leave a lasting impression.


3.  The Soprano's Car: I win, you live.  I lose, you get wacked.


4.  The 007 Car: A rocket giving the car the boost it needs.

5.  The Kanye West Car: Doesn't matter if someone else wins, I will come up and take the mic and declare who I think should win, MY SON!


6.  The Avatar Car: Because nothing is cooler that being a 10 foot Smurf that can crush any human opposition.

7.  The Terminator Car: A cybernetic organism. Living tissue over a metal endoskeleton. 

8.  The Star Trek Car: Warp speed!


9.  The Suicide Bomber Car: There it blew up! Now all the cars lose as my car enjoys automobile paradise with 40 virgin cars!


10.  A Toyota: No brakes, fast speeds!


So there are my ideas for the pinewood derby cars in the years ahead.  If you have a suggestion I would love to hear it or know what your favorite idea is above.  Who knows, with my warped and twisted sense of humor, you just might see one of them next year. 

Looking Backward, Looking Forward

It is hard to believe where the time goes but I am coming up on completing the fourth decade of life and beginning a new one. As is typical with the last time this happened 10 years ago, I go through a massive time of introspection on all that happened over the past 10 years - the good, the bad and the ugly. I take a good hard look at who I was at the beginning of the last decade and who I am now as I look forward to the next decade.

Reflecting on the Past 10 years:

The Good - My youngest child was born in 2001. My health has been good. I am still in youth ministry and feel stronger than ever that I am right in the middle of God's calling for my life. My marriage is maturing and strengthening. It has simply been amazing to watch all four of our children go through their early years during this decade. I am serving in a mainline church and happier than ever. In my youthful arrogance I used to consider the mainlines as an aging dinosaur that is growing more and more extinct. Now, slightly embarrassed by my past ignorance, I am pursuing ordination within the United Methodist Church and I don't know if I ever would consider going back to a non-denomination or Baptist church. If God slams and opens doors I will follow His lead wherever.

The Bad - I have had two very painful experiences at the expense of churches I was formerly employed. But through it all, in hindsight, I definitely see the hand of God leading me exactly where He wanted me to go, for the exact amount of time I was needed, and then He put me in a new situation that fit the skills, talents and abilities that He has given me. I was never the type of person to hear the still, small voice of God telling me it was time to move on. He needed to slam a hard, steel door in front of me and open a new path in which He shoved me towards in both cases.

The Ugly - During the last transition from one church to the other I had two situations that pulled me back into BOTH churches that I had to leave. The most recent church had a father of two of my teens commit suicide. I immediately went to the home to minister to the family. I knew in that moment that regardless of whether or not a church recognizes you as a pastor, God's calling to you is permanent, with or without a church home. During that exact same transition, while mourning the lost of a youth group and church family I fell in love with and trying to step forward for the sake of my family, I had a former student from the LAST church that "let me go" who just committed suicide. The family requested that I do the funeral. Needless to say, I was not in a good mental state for this. But then, when it comes to the suicide of one of your teenagers, what youth pastor is mentally prepared for this? Through God's grace alone, I was able to help both families even though I was rejected by the church establishments that represented those families.

In the category of ugliness, I was also pulled into two depositions dealing with a lawsuit against the first church I worked for. I should also state that this is the church I grew up in. I had to answer questions I did not want to answer for the fear that it might hurt people I care deeply about. And then I had to endure a full day of the church lawyers discrediting me. It was not a fun day but I got through it. And as a result, I believe that my relationship with my brother-in-law (a.k.a. my lawyer) deepened through this experience.

And the final ugly thing of the past decade has been this war. It has been hard to watch some of my teens' lives become shattered as a result of the effects that this war has had on them and their generation. I don't like it one bit.

Top 15 Things I am Looking Forward to in the Next 10 (God willing):

1. My own kids coming through the youth ministry!

2. Possibly staying at a church long enough to see the fruit of students taking their faith to college, becoming married, and raising families of their own, of which maybe, just maybe, some of their kids will make it through the youth ministry before God takes me home!

3. Tattoos (no matter what my wife says)

4. Ordination

5. A new Government without a Bush or Clinton! Please.

6. At the end of this decade, 3 kids in college! The only thing that scares me about this is how fast the past decade flew by and if that is any indication for the next 10 years.

7. Developing a relationship with an orphanage in Namibia, Africa

8. Finally affording some real family vacations!

9. Caring for my parents as they age gracefully.

10. Running a (half) marathon.

11. The Emergent Church rattling the cage of the establishment church and breathing new life and thought into the modern day church.

12. Christians transcending politics and believing in a God so much bigger than the Republican party.

13. The next Indiana Jones movie! And others????

14. The TV show "Lost" finally becoming found.

15. SpongeBob fading into obscurity.

It's a wonderful life! Really. With scars and all!